From losing 400,000 USD to reaching a new high in Holdings, a trader's self-narrative

The market is an interesting place. It often rewards bad behavior, but in the end, it always returns to the mean. Those who never consider this will ultimately suffer the consequences and become humble.

Recently, someone asked me how I went from having nothing to achieving stable profits, even surpassing my previous results. In simple terms: I experienced significant setbacks, made stupid mistakes, and had a bit of luck.

My "having nothing" may be a bit different from others, but it also has its similarities. It's not truly having nothing, but rather a mental breakdown, a complete abandonment of oneself.

I failed in all my attempts and had to slowly climb out of the abyss. Then start over. You might think I'm making up a story, but that's not the case. However, you don't have to believe me.

I have never systematically recorded these experiences, only sporadically shared some fragments. My friends and those who have followed me for a long time know what happened. I went from a "foolish top signal" to a "trader who seems to have a clear understanding of the market nowadays."

Unless you can understand the pain I have experienced, it will be difficult to gain useful information from this article. So, fasten your seatbelt, we are about to embark on a journey. It will be a long story.

If you don't want to hear my story, you can jump directly to "the highlights of ( that you want to see )". It's time to sort out these experiences.

2019

After working for four and a half years in a job I didn't like, I finally resigned. I have always been a firm supporter of Bitcoin. However, seeing people getting rich through leveraged trading made me want to try it as well, so I decided to spend six months specifically learning about trading.

At that time, I knew nothing about technical analysis and trading, yet I started trying options and stock trading, even learning to draw lines on charts. My early charts were terrible, and my judgments were often wrong. More importantly, I had no awareness of risk management at all.

However, I realize that understanding market signals seems to be becoming increasingly important. I have been fiddling with those amateur-level charts, and since 2017, some of my online friends have been getting better at this.

Many of us became very wealthy at one point in 2017, but as Bitcoin plummeted by 80%, the wealth slipped through our fingers. I guess I'm not the only one who has thought: "It's time to learn technical analysis so that I won't lose so badly again."

In 2019, I had about two to three thousand followers, most of whom were enthusiasts in the cryptocurrency field.

I didn't enter this industry to become famous; I just want to focus on trading for six months and learn some basic knowledge. For example, techniques like chart patterns and moving averages. I don't know which ones are useful and which ones aren't. But in any case, I have to give it a try.

I have savings that can sustain my living for six months, and I can also receive unemployment benefits. In the foreseeable future, my life is secured.

In August 2019, considering my many years of work experience, I asked my employer to dismiss me (. It is well known that they never opposed applying for unemployment benefits ). They agreed.

Unfortunately, shortly after that, Bitcoin reached its peak in 2019, and the market remained volatile and flat until the middle of 2020. This was truly the worst timing, as I happened to resign at that moment and devoted myself fully to trading.

I finally have time to think, to learn, and to do those things that I never had time for while working forty to fifty hours a week. Of course, I also have to bear all the risks and downsides that come with this freedom.

I started to take action. I traded call options on the S&P 500 index, speculated on stocks, and studied charts daily, trying to find a way to earn at least $100 to $500 each day. In the year before 2020, the cryptocurrency market was bleak, and I only had sporadic profits occasionally, but fortunately, I persevered.

If I hadn't been a complete novice at that time, the trading environment during that period was actually quite good.

2020

Everything is going relatively smoothly, as I log into my account every day to share my terrible ( opinions, and my follower count has increased. I occasionally make a profit, and my account balance is generally on the rise. People appreciate that I can share some valuable information online, as not everyone has the time to think about these ) after all, they still have to work (. Although I have lost a lot of money, I can always quickly recover the losses. For a beginner, this is already considered acceptable.

Leverage trading has become my way of life. I stare at the 15-minute charts, trading with 20x leverage, desperately trying to make some gains from the market, until February 20th when my Holdings reached an all-time high, I finally believed that I was doing quite well in trading.

Then, the "nuclear weapon" of the COVID-19 pandemic struck.

Around the same week, my unemployment benefits also expired.

So, my plan to study for a while and then look for a proper job instantly turned into a fantasy. It felt like the end of the world - a new type of virus has emerged.

I managed to short-sell, turning 0.5 Bitcoin into 1 Bitcoin with 50x leverage during the market crash triggered by the pandemic. That week, this was the only thing that went smoothly; my stocks were severely hit, and I was pretty sure my income was doomed.

It seems that it was destined by heaven, forcing me to devote myself fully to trading.

Fortunately, Jerome ), the Chairman of the Federal Reserve (, and his "money printer" saved the world.

Everyone knows what happened next. The market soared over the course of a year. It was truly a peak period of "only rising and not falling." Although the market can be profitable, it is also absurdly ridiculous.

![Trader's Statement: How I Enlightened Myself from Losing 400,000 USD to a New High in Holdings?])https://img-cdn.gateio.im/webp-social/moments-843923ffb67ad76b56d52ee6e90c6336.webp(

FTX

More exciting than a rising market is leveraged trading. I have some experience, but it's very limited, and I know very little about the macro environment. All I know is that Jerome is printing money, and the market will definitely rise as a result.

Then, our "savior" has come, and he will lead us into a paradise, and he will never do anything terrible.

At that time, we had no idea that FTX was about to take us on a "journey" that we would never forget.

I deposited about $4000 to $5000 into FTX, purchasing FTT) FTX platform tokens in multiple transactions at a price of $2 to $4.

FTT increased by 3000%. I suddenly have 40,000 to 50,000 dollars in my margin account. I have never had so much money before. ( This is the first warning sign )

I have deposited more funds and want to engage in more leveraged trading because my FTT is staked and cannot be used as collateral. At that time, I was emotionally fully invested in the FTX ecosystem.

The day my fan count reached 10,000 was exactly the day the "only up, no down" market started. This world really always brings surprises.

I have transformed from someone who only replies under others' tweets to a somewhat well-known person.

In the coming months, despite the outrageous market conditions, my physical and mental health deteriorated. The lockdown policies in my area were very strict. My weight skyrocketed, and I only went out two or three times a week. My daily routine was a mess. I almost became familiar with the delivery personnel from the takeout platforms, consuming 4000 to 5000 calories of food each day to cope with the despair and misfortune brought by the pandemic.

Those days were terrible.

But I made a fortune in the market, I can pay all my bills, and all my assets are rising, so I keep increasing my investment.

I often use leverage of 10 to 20 times. Sometimes, I can earn $40,000, and other times, I might lose $20,000.

I also engage in lending services, conduct perpetual contract trading for profits, and blindly invest in various emerging altcoins like COPE(.

I often stay up late because I don't like getting up early, and since I don't have a job, I start staying up until the market opens, make a few trades, and then sleep until 4 PM.

This is not good for my health either.

In addition, I also earned a good income by referring others to register. During peak weeks, I could make $1000 in a day.

I used this money for trading and also made up for some losses.

I seized several uptrends of Dogecoin, SOL, Bitcoin, and various altcoins.

I am a typical "genius" of the bull market.

The market has rewarded me.

My highest account balance on FTX was about $250,000, mainly thanks to SOL, FTT, and Bitcoin.

Later, SBF), the founder of FTX(, reduced the daily withdrawal limit for accounts that had not completed KYC) identity verification( from $9000 to $2000. Looking back now, this might have been the first signal that he would later get into legal troubles, but who knows?

I withdraw money every few days, but that money is actually still trapped in FTX, and I am still greedy, wanting to earn more. I calculated that to withdraw all the money, it would take about 120 days, and I would need to log into my account every day to carry out the withdrawal operations.

Part of the responsibility lies with SBF's new regulations, but it also lies with myself. Because there was a moment when I really thought, "I should withdraw this $250,000 to improve my life."

I could have withdrawn all my money before FTX went bankrupt.

Even after the market peaked in November 2021, I continued to gamble. I was no longer trading, but going against the trend. Even when the market's buying momentum was exhausted, I was still going against the cycles of Bitcoin.

Every day brings new losses, and with my constant withdrawals and losses, my account balance quickly went to zero.

I lost two-thirds of my funds on FTX because I forced trades. Most of my trading career has been spent in a "only go up" market, and no one reminded me to change my strategy, except for Jim and Insilico. At the time, I thought they were just annoying bears, but they were among the few who accurately identified the top. For this, they deserve praise.

During that time, there were no once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to enter the market, only endless pain.

![Trader's Account: How I Went from Losing $400,000 to Reaching a New High in Holdings?])https://img-cdn.gateio.im/webp-social/moments-a192c7daa41a6aa388d951fa2298d8d1.webp(

Year 2022

The situation has worsened.

In the first week of 2022, the person who raised me and was one of the most important people in my life - my grandmother passed away.

We knew that this day would come, but it did not make it any easier to accept. She has been in pain for a long time, and we feel some solace that she can finally rest.

The family member has passed away, the outlook is bleak, and the market still shows no signs of an upward trend.

It was purely by luck that I inherited some money a few months later. Not much, but it's still something.

Because the source of this money is special, I have a deep reverence for it. But in any sense, this money is not enough to change my life.

So, like a gambler, I tried to invest in dividend stocks to earn income at my father's suggestion, but in four to five months, I lost 20%.

Clearly, during a rate hike cycle, no one wants dividend stocks.

I don't want to take risks with this money anymore.

So I saved up cash ) this is the first sign that I started learning things (, putting it in a place I would hardly go to.